I Don't Cry
by ShannonLove10456
Summary: Beck Oliver and Jade west fanfiction. I'm awful at summaries please don't hate me.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Okay, this is my first ever fanfiction and my first time writing in third person. I hope it's okay. I'm planning on making this a multi-chapter story but I'm not quite sure if it's good enough or not. So it's short. Anyways I'm rambling too much. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters.**

* * *

Beck Oliver knew that this shouldn't have been the way they broke up. He didn't want to leave Jade, not really. But when they both fought it left them red in the face with a fire burning through them both. He knew there was no way he could be making her happy so how could he stay?

* * *

Jade West knew the breakup was coming. Hell, it had been her suggestion in the first place. She knew before she posed the question that he wouldn't come through the door. But there was always the hope that he would sitting in the back of her mind. He didn't. So how could she make him stay?

* * *

Beck sighed after an hour of playing cards with his friends. All he wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep but he knew that without Jade there tonight he wouldn't be able to. He dragged a hand down his face clutching desperately at his face.

"Maybe someone should check on Jadey." Mumbled Cat as she look down at her hand filled with queens. At the mention of Jade's name everyone's head snapped up. Just hearing Jade's name sent Beck into a flurry of emotions. Her name sounded foreign on Cat's lips. All Beck could hear were those times he had whispered her name in the darkness of his R.V and the soft curve of her smile that would appear after every time. Even when she wasn't here she managed to drive him crazy, they've only been separated for a few hours but he missed her and it hurt like hell.

"I'm sure she's fine Cat. Besides, Jade West never cries. Right?" Tori laughs nervously slowly sipping her drink. _Right _Beck rationalized. She wouldn't let this reduce her to a crying mess. He squeezed his eyes shut. But it would. He knew what Jade was like. He knew she cried like everyone else but this time it was because of him.

"I don't know man, that was pretty harsh. I mean you knew that she thought he was coming. And you know, he didn't. I-" Tori cut André off with a glare. "I'm gonna shut up now."

The group of friends silently continued playing their game of cards, each one thinking of a certain pale teenager.

* * *

Jade West was lying silently on her bed. She should have known what was going to happen. Beck has always been _hers _but lately it seemed like he wasn't. Sure, they still slept in the same bed most nights but it felt different. There was just something that had loosened her claim on him. She could feel them distancing but it didn't mean she stopped loving him. It made her struggle and fight to keep them together and it just pushed them farther apart. She would start a fight 'cause she needed to feel _something. _She could feel the anger bubbling under her skin. How was this _my _fault? She fucking _tried. _Jade let out a high pitched scream and pounded on her wall until her fist was raw. Life was never fucking fair, ever. Jade thought as she slid back down onto her bed staring at her ceiling. Tears threatened to fall but Jade West never cried, right?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Trigger warning for sexual assault/rape. It starts the paragraph after she leaves the bar I'm sorry, but I felt I had to include it in my story. I hope it doesn't disappoint anyone who is reading my story. But, I think I'll be writing another Bade fanfiction that is nothing like this.**

* * *

**Three Months Later (A week after the Platinum Music Awards)**

Fuck Tori and Fuck Beck. It should be that simple. But it wasn't. Jade sat at the far corner of the bar quietly nursing her drink musing over everything that happened while music pounded around her. See, if Tori is still nice even though she's been such a bitch her, how can she continue being mean. But that little princess stopped him from kissing her. And Beck, Jade smiled softly to herself. She should hate him so much. Even after the months that have passed, she should hate him. But she doesn't. And sometimes when they look at each other she completely forgets that they aren't even together anymore. Everything would have been so much easier if they just would have kissed and then Jade could hate both of the assholes. But they've left her conflicted. And Jade hated to be conflicted.

She stares at her drink as she swishes the vodka around hearing the ice clink against the glass to the rhythm of the music surrounding her. She knows she shouldn't be at a bar, she's only 17. But they just make it so easy for her to get in and she's never been afraid of going out by herself. And now there is just so much more of a reason to have a drink every so often. She glances at her phone and sees the time is 1:00am.

"Fuck." She had planned to be home and hour ago. She still needed to finish her script for Sikowitz for the morning. She throws her phone into her purse and slings it over her shoulder. How could she let the time get away from her? Jade is lost in the thoughts of how she's going to finish her script when a sweaty hand grabs her waist and the man begins rubbing his obvious erection on her. She freezes up and plasters a strained smile on her face before slowly turning around to face the man.

"Okay, first, remove your sweaty hands from my waist or you won't have hands. Second, nobody wants to feel your obvious hard-on against their ass. So don't touch me." Jade sneered and turned to leave.

"C'mon don't be such a bitch." The man says sloppily and attempts to grab at Jade again but this time she's prepared and recoils.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." She snapped and walks out of the bar as quickly as she can. She's always hated sleazy people, more than other people do. Because calling someone a bitch is really going to make them want to talk to you. Right. Jade walks along the street with all it's light illuminating the night sky. It was almost like a security blanket, no one would dare attack her here. But the lights fade and Jade stands at the entrance way to a park that is definitely a short cut to her house, one she wouldn't normally take. The only thought that drives her to the short cut is her script that due tomorrow. Jade takes a deep breath and begin rapidly walking across the grass. When she hit's the paved area of the park a hand grabs her forearm hard and pulls her into their body. She tries to scream but a salty hand covers her mouth.

"Nice to see you again, bitch." A familiar raspy voice says in her ear. "I just wanted to dance. But now, now you're going to do so much more."

Fear flashes through Jade's mind. In a moment of survival she bites down on his hand until she tastes blood. As the man screams and releases her from his grip Jade runs and screams as loud as she can. Everything she learned in self defence has fled her mind and is replaced with fear. She keeps screaming, not quite sure who she's screaming for. Until an arm snakes around waist yet again.

"Dude, I caught her." The man calls to the attacker. But this one has his phone in his hand, he's been filming this whole thing. "Oh, don't worry sweetie. I won't take a turn. I just like filming things. Your pale skin will compliment the bruises beautifully." he says as he slowly sniffs her hair until the attacker arrives.

"Who is Beck you little slut? Aw, you were screaming for your boyfriend and he's not even here." The man sneers. "Is he your boyfriend?" He looks expectantly at Jade whose mouth is still covered. "Uncover her mouth. It's not like anyone will hear her anyways. If she gets to loud we can always silence her." As he releases Jade's mouth she starts screaming again.

"Oh, I see you're not going to cooperate. That's fine." The man turns away and returns with a ringing blow to Jade's ribcage, the crunching of her bones rings through the silent night. But what's worse is the piercing scream that follows.

"I said-" He starts. "Tell. Me. Who. Beck. Is." After each word the attacker plants another blow on Jade's body her screams ringing through the night.

"My old boyfriend." Jade manages to mutter out lying on her back.

"Ah. I see. No one I need to worry about." He says as he begins to straddle Jade. "Make sure you get this at a good angle." He adds to his partner. How is this happening? Jade thinks as he unzips his pants. This doesn't happen to regular people. This happens to people in stories. What did I do? Her thoughts cut off as she feels something inside of her body. As he pumps in and out of her she feels this searing, ripping feeling through her whole lower abdomen. As his hips slam into her repeatedly all she can do is look into the lens of the camera. She knows that she should get a look at the attackers face, but she can't do that to herself. She stares until he's pulls out and releases himself onto the grass beside her.

"Well thanks for the ride, slut." He states as he shoves himself back into his pants. "Lets go."

Hours after they leave Jade is still lying there in the darkness with tears welled in her eyes. But she won't give them the satisfaction. Even if they can't see her anymore, it's the principle of the matter. I won't cry Jade thinks as she lies there. I'm Jade West.


	3. Chapter 3

Richard West was tired. There was no other words to describe it. These conferences in New York were wearing him down. His client was demanding, and even though he was the best lawyer in L.A here in New York it was different. Everything was just so taxing on him. He sighed and threw the file on his desk and leaned back in his chair. All he wants is for everything to be like it was before. Back when his little girl would be happy to see him get home but now all they do is have quipped conversations. As he mulled over his thoughts his phone rang. Richard considered not answering but he saw the area code of the number and answered with a glimmer of hope that Jade was calling him. After listening a few minutes Richard sat up straighter

"What? Are you sure it's my daughter?" The voice on the other end of the line confirmed it was for certain Jade West.

"I'll be home as fast as I can."

* * *

Jade slowly opened her eyes to the bright sterile room. She slowly moves her head to the right and white hot pain soars through her skull and a whimper escapes her lips. It alerts Richard West who abruptly stands up.

"Jade, thank God." He breathes a sigh of relief.

"Dad? Why are you here?" Jade asked curiously with a hoarse voice. Shouldn't he be New York. His job has always been more important than I am.

"I got a phone call last night. They told me everything. Jade I'm so sorry." Richard states as he cups her face with one of his hands, gentle of the bruise flowering across her jaw line.

"But shouldn't you be with your new wife? You've always enjoyed her company more than mine besides-" She cuts off as her voice trails into a barely audible whisper. Her throat burning after every word she spoke.

"Sh, Jade. Speaking right now isn't good, your throat has been damaged. Please. You have always been and will always be my first priority."

* * *

"Why do they call it chilli if it's hot?" Cat asked genuinely twirling a piece of her red hair around her finger. Cat looked up and gazed around the room with her innocent brown eyes. Seeing each one of her group of friends smile lightly at her antics. But the usual eye roll from Jade was missing.

"Hey, where's Jadey?" Cat wondered aloud as she noticed the absence of her best friend.

"Probably just late or something." Robbie said to reassure Cat.

"But I haven't heard from her since yesterday at school." Cat whined.

"Maybe she's skipping?" Offered up Tori half-heartedly. But something wasn't sitting right with her either. Jade hadn't responded to any of her texts with her usual snap, she didn't even respond at all.

But Beck knew she wouldn't skip today. Today was the day the whole class was going to read her script. She wouldn't miss handing that in. But he couldn't say that. He wasn't allowed to be a part of her life where he knew things. Things that were important to her. But he had a feeling something had to be wrong.

As soon as the strange bell rang through the room, Sikowitz entered the room in a regular manner for once. But he still had a smile for the group of his students minus one.

"Good morning my group of large babies!" Sikowitz exclaimed.

"Sikowitz where's Jadey?" Cat begged. At the mention of Jade his smile fell.

"Do you children not know?" Sikowitz asked gently.

"Not know what?" Trembled Tori as she clutched her chair in anticipation.

What could he mean by that? Beck thought. His smile disappeared and now he's asking us if we didn't know. She can't be dead. Right? No, she couldn't be. That's not possible. Not Jade. Not his Jade.

"Jade is in the hospital." He said seriously.

"WHAT!?" Beck shouted as his chair flew backwards behind him. Everyone surrounding him giving him strange looks. He knew he shouldn't have burst out like that. She might only be there for a minor reason, like a cough or something.

"But why is she there man? C'mon tell us Sikowitz." André asked urgently, he needed to know if his friend was okay.

"I cannot give you that information. She may not even want you to know. It's up to her." Sikowitz turned and began writing on the whiteboard "Now acting-"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Sorry this wasn't up yesterday, I share a room and my sister was there yesterday and I can't write unless I'm by myself. Any reviews are appreciated xoxox. **

* * *

After the final bell of school rang the group of friends gathered around in the foyer of the school.

"So what's the plan? I'm assuming we're all going to see Jade." Tori states looking expectantly at the group and is answered with a chorus of agreements. "Okay, so who's driving?"

"I will." André says. "I promise my grandma won't be in my car this time though." He added defensively after the looks the gang was giving him.

"Okay, lets go. I wanna see Jadey." Cat whined. The group of friends complied and led Cat out of the school and towards André's car. Halfway there, Beck stopped and pulled out the keys to his truck.

"Guys, I think I'm going to drive myself there." Beck said as he scratched the back of his neck and the group nodded in agreement.

"Okay, we'll see you there."

* * *

"Um, excuse me miss." Tori spoke to the lady at the reception desk. "We were wondering what room Jade West is in, could you tell us?" She asked with a soft smile. The receptionist clicked on her keyboard for what seemed like forever to the group of friends.

"Room 335, left wing, second floor." She acknowledged.

"Thanks, but could you maybe tell us why she's there?" Tori asked as she knitted her eyebrows together. A few more moments passed as the receptionist clicked on her keyboard. Her indifference toward the group of friends changed as she scanned the typed document on Jade West.

"Oh, darlings. You know I can't disclose that information. She'll have to tell you herself." She smiled sympathetically and patted Tori's hand. Beck breathed a sigh of relief. She can't be that bad if the receptionist said she'll tell us herself. But a nagging voice at the back of his mind kept telling him she was only a receptionist not a nurse, so how would she know what was happening. No she's fine he kept telling himself, almost like mantra "Jade is okay. Jade is fine."

After every step Beck took on the white vinyl tiles, the knot in his stomach tightened. How could he walk into that room? He's never seen Jade hurt in any way. The thought of her being hurt brought out the protective side of him. He wished he could shield her from the world. And the thought occurred to him that if he shielded from all hurt, he'd have to shield her from himself. He knew he hurt Jade more than once. As they draw nearer to the door Beck sees the blaring black numbers reading 335 and his pace slows but his heart races. He has no idea what he's going to see behind the door and he realizes that he's scared. Beck Oliver is scared. Every time someone has said he's scared of nothing has been a lie because in this moment he is petrified. Just as he's about to tell his friends they can go in without him, Richard West walks out of the door looking disgruntled. His normally clean-shaven face is past it's 5 o'clock shadow and his wrinkled shirt is untucked.

"Ah, you all must be Jade's friends." He says with an air of cautiousness. He recognized Cat and Beck, but the other faces didn't quite click in his mind.

"Yeah, we were just wondering what had happened to Jade. Sikowitz told us that she was in the hospital but he didn't tell us why." Tori said tentatively, not sure if this man was Jade's father.

"Sikowitz?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow. It came as no shock to Beck that Jade's father had no idea who Sikowitz was even though he was her favourite teacher. "Jade's sedated right now for the pain. You could see her if you like, but she's not apt to be awake, or even if she was, she wouldn't remember that you were there. And the rare times she's awake she's very irritable." The tone in which Richard said everything gave the group of friends a feeling he didn't want them to see Jade. As they glanced around at each other, they reached an understanding that it was time for them to leave.

"I guess we'll leave then, but could you at least tell us what happened?" André requested what everyone was wondering. They've gone hours knowing something was wrong but they didn't know what.

"I think it will be better if Jade told you herself later on when she's feeling more up to it." Richard responded with a tight smile clasping his hands in front of him. "I'll make sure to call you when she's feeling better." He says brushing by them heading towards the elevator. The door knob of the room beckons to the friends. Tori puts out her hand as if to grab the handle, but thinks better of it and withdraws,

"We better not. She'd have our heads on a stick." Tori said trying to lighten the mood. "We can always come back when she's feeling better, right?"

"I guess." Cat says wistfully looking at the door that had her best friend behind it. As the group walks down the hallway filled with nurses bustling about clutching clipboards they notice Beck has lingered at the door labelled 335.

"Hey, man, are you coming?" André calls to him

"Nah, I think I'll stay for a bit." Beck says in almost a whisper. The friends look at each other shaking their heads as they continue their path down the busy hospital corridor. Beck stays standing outside the door, one hand on the doorknob the other buried in his hair. He doesn't know if he should do it, he's allowed to care for Jade anymore. He lost that privilege when he didn't open the door months ago. But he had to do this, he had to know she was okay. Beck inhales deeply and swings the door open and steps into the dimly lit room the door clicking softly behind him.

When he fist sees her the hospital bed had been positioned so she was half sitting up. His eyes dart directly to her head, her soft hair was splayed around her, void of any coloured extensions. His eyes slowly followed inwards, looking first at her eyes closed gently, eyelashes brushing the top of her cheekbones. They trail down to her pink lips releasing breaths in a slow rhythm until they reach the bruise flowering along her jaw. A multitude of purples combined to make one large painting, her pale skin being the canvas. His eyes keep trailing and they reach her delicate neck with 5 rings each in garish shade of colour, colours that should not be on someone's body. The bruises continue on down her body each the size of a man's hand. His eyes stop at the hemline of her hospital gown, but he knew more bruises would follow.

As Beck steps closer to her bed the more he wants to reach out and clasp her hand. What had happened to his Jade? The obvious answer blared in his mind but he couldn't accept it. Not to her, not to his Jade. But the brown clipboard swinging ever so slightly at the end of her bed stood out against the whiteness of the room. He shouldn't read it, he knew that. But his hand reached out automatically and grasped the clipboard filled with all the information he wanted to know. Beck began reading the sheets and wished he hadn't.

_Admitted May 1st. Brought in from Elderberry Park. _

_Broken Ribs, possible organ bruising, obvious bruising around the whole body from a physical assault. _

_Foresenic Evidence Kit has been used on patient._

Beck's head starts to spin and one word sticks out. Rape. Jade has been raped. How could this have happened to his girl? Even if she didn't want him near her he still should have protected her. He's not sure how, but all he can think about is how he should have stopped it. The words ring in his head, and they repeat themselves over and over again. His world spins and a darkness fills him. He'd never expect anything like this to happen, and he's fucking angry. Angry at everything because _this wasn't fair._ His thoughts don't stop until he hears a crunch and he's holding two pieces of the clipboard and small voice from the bed calls out.

"Beck?"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N This chapter is not very good, I don't think I'm cut out for third person aha. And I'm sorry for the kind of late update xoxo**

* * *

At the sound of Jade's voice all the anger in Beck flowed out of him as fast as it had came.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with a familiar eyebrow raise.

"I-I" Beck stuttered. "I came because Sikowitz told us you were in the hospital. He wouldn't tell us why though so Tori, André, Cat, Robbie and I decided we should come see what happened. I didn't think this was it" He finished glancing down at the two broken pieces he had in each hand. But as he looked up he saw her lips move with no sound coming out, her eyelids fluttering until they closed.

* * *

When Richard West entered the room with a coffee in his hand it shocked him that Beck was standing there in the middle of the room. He had thought he scared away the group of friends.

"I thought you were coming back later?" Richard asked with an eyebrow raise the exact same as his teenage daughter. At the sound of a voice Beck whips around with a startled look on his face. "I told you she would just be sleeping." He adds nodding towards Jade's sleeping frame.

"I was going to leave, but I couldn't-. I just needed to know. I didn't know it was this." Beck said shakily pushing a hand through his hair holding up the ripped sheets of paper.

"May I speak to you in the hall?" Richard requested after a moment of silence, but when Beck showed reluctance he added "It wasn't really a question." He followed Jade's father out of the hospital room and into the brightly lit hallway. Nurses in different shades of blue, pink, and green were all rushing about getting ready for the turnover. Beck watched them in fascination trying to get his mind off everything he had just learned. When Richard slowed to a stop in a quiet corner of the hallway, Beck looked at him expectantly.

"You love Jade don't you. I know you broke her heart, but you love her don't you?" Richard demanded crossing his arms over his chest. Beck nodded slowly unsure of where this was going.

"Then do something. Not for me, but for her. I need you to take care of her. You and all your friends, I have to go back to New York tomorrow, it's essential for my work. I can't take her with me either. It's up to you guys." Richard says looking down at his feet.

"So you're just going to leave her? All by herself." Beck demnads.

"Look who's talking." He responds irritated. "Go home. I'll tell the doctors what's going on. You better come for her tomorrow" Richard throws over his shoulder walking back to Jade's room leaving Beck standing there confused with a fire burning in him.

* * *

_"No Stop" She screams as the shadow covers her body. Touching every inch of it consuming her._

_He tries to help but something is stopping him, he's helpless, frozen in a place of horrors. _

Beck wakes up in a cold sweat to the darkness of his R.V. He rubs his eyes with the heel of his palm and falls back into bed with a sigh of despair, blocking out the thoughts that fuel him with a multitude of emotions.

* * *

The next morning Beck is sleep deprived. His thoughts would run wild even through the attempts of his blocking everything out. He throws the comforter off his body and pads across his R.V to the bathroom tucked away in the corner. As he brushes his teeth his thoughts begin wandering again. How could he be doing something as normal as brushing his teeth when his girl was in a hospital after being-. No he tells himself, he won't think about it. He drags through his morning routine like a zombie, only finding ambition when he climbs into his truck and heads down the unfamiliar road to the hospital.

_335_

It's not likely that Beck will ever forget the number. It's been drilled into his brain since the moment her heard it leave the receptionists lips. Before his hand reaches the handle, a chirpy looking doctor opens the door from the other side.

"Are you Beck Oliver?" She asks looking at him earnestly.

"Um, yeah"

"Well, Richard told me to tell you everything concerning Jade's health." She says closely the door softly behind her after walking into the hallway. "She is responding very well, thankfully her organs haven't bruised! Of course there are still the major bruises covering her whole body and we'll definitely be giving making a prescription for her to deal with the pain. Although her broken ribs are pretty bad. They've been broken in multiple areas, she should be able to walk still, but only for short distances. We haven't been able to test as we've just taken her off the sedatives. But don't worry, we'll have Jade good as new before you know it!" She finishes with a large smile. "You could probably see her now, she seems to be awake, although she might fall asleep. Don't worry, by tomorrow the sedatives will be completely gone." The doctor assured him as she walked away scribbling on her clipboard.

As soon as Beck walked into the room he could feel her curious gaze on him.

"Oh, so you're the "friend" my Dad was talking about. Well no need to bother yourself, I'm fine. Perfect actually, you-" She breaks off with a wince.

"Maybe it would be better if you didn't talk as much." Beck says sitting on the edge of her bed careful not to touch any part of her bruised body.

"I can take care of myself you know." Jade says hoarsely, closing her eyes gently. In a few moments Beck could see the soft rise and fall of her chest, a sight he had seen many times and he smiled softly to himself. But when he looked up and saw all the thin bruises lining her throat, anger flooded him again. That fucker had touched his Jade, they _hurt_ her. They stole her innocence, he and Jade had made love before, but she was an innocent. And they fucking stole that from her. They stole it and bruised her, they broke her. The thoughts in Beck's head kept piling until he couldn't take it any more. He need to hit something. And he needed to do it now."

He slowly walked to the bathroom adjoined to the room careful not to disturb Jade. When the bathroom door closed behind him, all he could see was red. He punched at the wall until his fist was raw and the drywall was satisfyingly cracked. Beck straightned out his shirt, ran a hand through his hair and walked out of the bathroom like nothing had happened at all.


End file.
